Monthly Archives: November 2010

The “why” just doesn’t matter

It has taken me a long time to learn that I really do wear my heart on my sleeve and I must take responsibility for my own feelings. I’ve often heard that other people can’t make you “feel” guilty or hurt or angry, it’s the way we allow ourselves to feel when others wrong us. Although I know it in my head, it’s a whole ‘nother thing to make it happen in your heart.

After almost 25 years working as a law enforcement officer, a field obviously dominated by men, one would think I would have a handle on that by now. Although I try, I just don’t have a grasp on that concept. What I have learned and am much better able to put into practice is that the “why” just doesn’t matter. It seems that if I could figure out the “why” I could “fix” it. But there just ain’t no fixing some people. And while I might allow myself to feel hurt or guilty, I can’t hold myself responsible for figuring out why other people do things to hurt me.

Maybe they are so low that the only way they can feel better about themselves is to mess with other people. Maybe they don’t know any better, and maybe they don’t even realize how the things they say and do affect others. No matter the reason, I can’t change them or their personality. What I can do is change the situation and correct my perception of the event. And realize that over time the hurt will fade, I’ll recover, and I’ll be okay.

So, the “why” just doesn’t matter and MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!

Where does the time go?

My dad sent me an email yesterday asking me how to find his blog he used to keep. Amazingly I was able to find it, which got me to thinking about mine. I figured I’d see how long it’s been since I wrote on mine and my oh my! I think a lot of us have counted Facebook as our blogging time, but it’s really not the same. Not everyone uses Facebook and every time you turn around, something changes where half the people don’t see your stuff anyway!

I haven’t posted since this summer, so here goes. I’m still at 2nd District and loving it, working the LSU football games as usual, went to the 2010 COPS Walk (raised $13,430), went diving in Cozumel in October, worked the Gulf Coast Motorcycle Skills Championship again, went to Houston for a stitching class from Alma of Blackbird Designs, and next week I’m off to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee with my family for Thanksgiving.

Whew! The last few months have been a blur, especially October. I think I was only at work for 3 days that whole month! After Thanksgiving though it will slow down completely, with nothing scheduled after that at all. Like, I mean, at ALL! No trips to look forward to, no big events, nothing. It will be a good time to save up some vacation time, catch up on some stitching, and just spend time with friends at home.

Chief Leduff is leaving so they appointed Charlie Mondrick as the interim until a new chief is appointed. In the meeting yesterday, a few items were handed down from the commander’s meeting earlier in the week. This department is in shambles, morale is as low as I have ever seen it in 25 years, and the city is ridden with crime with the second highest murder rate in the country. What came out of the meeting? Make sure their units are clean, their brass is shiny, that my door is closed to them, and they have to start wearing their hats. Yeah, the big cab hats. Dear Lord, can anyone help us?

Until next time…